Category Archives: Blog

The Cry from the Basement

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Have you ever prayed, “Lord, what is Your purpose for my life?”

I want to share a call to Global Missions with a scene from Gone With the Wind and an illustration about searching for your place in God’s kingdom.


Click the video for an audio/visual presentation of this post …

A Scene from Gone With the Wind — and a Call to Global Missions

A woman in our church had a dream in which she was walking through various rooms of a beautiful mansion, but she was feeling left out and unneeded. In her dream, this woman finally found a particular ‘room’ she loved. At last, she felt ‘at home’ in the mansion and soon she was making friends and given a perfect job to do.

This lady’s dream was related in a sermon illustration, with the mansion representing God’s kingdom and rooms representing various churches and congregations. Just as this woman had found her ‘place in the house’ (a church family and a place of ministry where she could thrive) the sermon encouraged each person to seek God for His purposes.

Using this example, I spent some time in prayer, asking the Lord to reveal His will and desire for me and for our family ‘in His house.’

As I was walking and praying on the wooded trails surrounding our family’s home, I felt like I saw a similar picture in my mind:

I too was in a mansion, somewhat like the opening scenes of Scarlett O’Hara’s home, Tara, from Gone With the Wind.

As I entered various rooms I suddenly found myself:

    • in the kitchen of my local church,
    • in a vendor hall of a homeschooling convention,
    • in a living room,
    • and in churches.

Then, in my thoughts,
I felt led to go downstairs to a massive basement.

As I looked over this ‘room’ (which suddenly appeared to be outdoors), I was reminded of another scene from Gone With the Wind when Scarlett is searching for the doctor to help with her friend Melanie’s birth. In the movie, Scarlett steps through a graphic Civil War scene, with many wounded soldiers lying in row-after-row on the ground, moaning for help. As the imagery is captured on film, the camera pans to a broader-and-broader view as the intense scope of the Civil War’s casualties are revealed. Finally, when Scarlett finds the frazzled doctor and begs him to come help, the doctor responds:

“Are you crazy? I can’t leave these men for a baby! They’re dying … bleeding to death in front of my eyes, no chlorophyll, no bandages, nothin’ to even ease their pain!”

 


Click the video to view this famous scene from Gone With The Wind.

In my mind, I envisioned an open-air scene filled with people.
As my view expanded, wider-and-wider,
I saw massive crowd with many faces and nationalities
and hundreds of crying children.

I knew they represented people from around the world,
orphans who needed to be rescued
and SOULS who needed to be saved.

And just like that lone doctor in Gone With the Wind,
hardly anyone was working in this ‘room.’

People were dying everywhere
and the need was beyond anything I had ever seen.

As I prayed, I felt the Lord speak to my heart:

You are called to THIS room,
to help with the needs of the basement.
But you’re also called upstairs
to other rooms in My House,
to get others to come help.

The need is great
and there aren’t enough workers.

Go to families, women,
homeschoolers and churches.

But don’t get distracted
by the needs in the other rooms.

Romans 10:14-15 tells us,
“How shall they hear without a preacher …
and how shall they preach unless they are sent.”

 

If you are searching for your ‘place’ in God’s house,
please remember the cries from the basement.

Helping the Poor (Bible verses)

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He who despises his neighbor sins;
But he who has mercy on the poor,
happy is he.
Proverbs 14:21

He who has pity on the poor lends to the Lord,
And He will pay back what he has given.
Proverbs 19:17

He who has a generous eye will be blessed,
For he gives of his bread to the poor.
Proverbs 22:9

Open your mouth for the speechless,
In the cause of all who are appointed to die.
Open your mouth, judge righteously,
And plead the cause of the poor and needy.
Proverbs 31:8-9

Famine Relief Finally Released

Famine Relief Finally Released


She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
Proverbs 31:20

“Is this not the fast that I have chosen:
To loose the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the heavy burdens,
To let the oppressed go free,
And that you break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not hide yourself from your own flesh?
Isaiah 58:6-7

Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”
Matthew 29:21

Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and tell John the things you have seen and heard: that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, the poor have the gospel preached to them.
Luke 7:22

Then He also said to him who invited Him, “When you give a dinner or a supper, do not ask your friends, your brothers, your relatives, nor rich neighbors, lest they also invite you back, and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you; for you shall be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”
Luke 14:12-14

They desired only that we should remember the poor, the very thing which I also was eager to do.
Galatians 2:10

…for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’
“Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’
Matthew 25:35-40

Catch our Vision!

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We’re women who care about the next generation!

At Daring Daughters, our passion is to inspire women of all ages for local and global missions. We have a heart for God’s Great Commandment and God’s Great Commission. We love God, we love others, and by His grace, we DARE to OBEY.

As God-loving women, we want to glorify God’s Name, wherever He calls us — reaching the neighbors next-door or the nations across the globe (along with the children entrusted to our care, right in our own homes!).

Break my heart for what breaks Yours. 
Everything I am for Your kingdom’s cause.
Show me how to love like You have loved me.

Our hearts beat for God’s purposes and they “break” for the evils and injustices of our world. And we DARE to pray and to ask God how we can help.

  • As mothers (and as mentors), we want to seek God fervently, with our lives and our families in God’s daily divine balance. We want to effectively train our daughters (and all of our children) to love the Lord and to glorify Him. At the same time, we long to be examples of God’s mercy and compassion.

  • As daughters (and girls of this generation), we want to prepare for our future, while fully embracing and enjoying this season. We want to live with a biblical, self-sacrificing perspective, that’s so different than today’s selfish, humanistic mindset. We choose to worship God and to enjoy Him forever . . . and somehow, we also want to shine for Jesus in our dark and hurting world.


We’re bringing the generations together . . .

As Director of Daring Daughters, I welcome you to JOIN us! I’m Ann Dunagan, director of Daring Daughters, and I’m excited about what God is doing and who He is bringing together. (Meet our contributing mentors!)

We have a vision for women, especially mothers and daughters, who desire to fervently seek God’s purposes. We see the generations coming together — with the spiritual wisdom and perspective of motherhood combined with the creative zeal of youth. We envision the potential in many mother-daughter-teams and mentor-groups . . . and pray for God’s kingdom to come!

Together, as we fervently seek the Lord and His purposes, God can give us His fresh perspective for living with wholehearted devotion and day-by-day purity. Instead of merely “fulfilling responsibilities” and “following rules” we want to live with a higher vision. We want God to mold us — from the inside out — and to train us for His leadership and service. We surrender everything to Him and allow Him to work through us, however He desires, whether His plans are adventurous and big, or simple and small.

As moms and daughters, we seize each day, while preparing for the future and investing in eternity. We’re embracing the here-and-now to obey God with both radical obedience and daily faithfulness.

  • As mothers, (and as mentors) we’re reaching up to God, to magnify Him and to let our hearts begin to dream again, as in the days of our youth.

  • As daughters, (and as girls of the next generation) we’re ready to learn . . . and to step up to God’s calling for the days to come!


We’re all Daring Daughters . . . who DARE to obey God!

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Amy Carmichael’s Vision

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Amy Carmichael

Thy Brother’s Blood: A Vision for Lost Souls
By Amy Carmichael
Missionary to India (1967-1951)

More mission quotes
by Amy Carmichael

Listen to an mp3 teaching
highlighting this quote

The tom-toms thumped straight on all night, and the darkness shuddered ‘round me like a living, feeling thing. I could not go to sleep, so I lay awake and looked; and I saw, as it seemed, this:

That I stood on a grassy precipice, and at my feet at crevice broke down into infinite space. I looked, but saw no bottom; only cloud shapes, black and furiously coiled, and great shadow-shrouded hollows, and unfathomable depths. Back I drew, dizzy at the depth.

Then I saw forms of people moving in single file along the grass. They were making for the edge. There was a woman with a baby in her arms and another little child holding onto her dress. She was on the very verge. Then I saw that she was blind. She lifted her foot for the next step . . . it trod air. She was over, and the children over with her. Oh, they cry as they went over!

Then I saw more streams of people flowing from all quarters. All were blind, stone blind; and all made straight for the crevice’s edge. They were shrieks as they suddenly knew in themselves that they were falling, and a tossing up of helpless arms, catching, clutching at empty air. But some went over quietly and fell without a sound.

Then I wondered with a wonder that was simple agony, why no one stopped them at the edge. I could not, I was glued to the ground. And I could not call; though I strained and tried, only a whisper would come.

Then I saw that along the edge there were guards set at intervals. But the intervals were too great; there were wide, unguarded gaps between. And over these gaps the people fell in their blindness, quite unwarned; and the green grass seemed blood-red to me, and gulf yawned like the mouth of hell.

Then I saw, like a little picture of peace, a group of people under some trees with their backs turned towards the gulf. They were making daisy chains.

Sometimes when a piercing shriek cut the quiet air and reached them, it disturbed them and they thought it a rather vulgar noise. And if one of their number started up and wanted to go and do something to help, then all the others would pull that one down.

“Why should you get all excited about it? You must wait for a definite call to go! You haven’t finished your daisy chain yet. It would be really selfish,” they said, “to leave us to finish the work alone.”

There was another group. It was made up of people whose great desire was to get more guards out; but they found that very few wanted to go, and sometimes there were no guards set for miles and miles of the edge.

One girl stood alone in her place, waving the people back; but her mother and other relations called, and reminded her that her furlough was due; she must not break the rules. And being tired and needing a change, she had to go and rest for a while; but no one was sent to guard her gap, and over and over the people fell, like a waterfall of souls.

Once a child caught at a tuft of grass that grew at the very brink of the gulf; it clung convulsively, and it called — but nobody seemed to hear. Then the roots of the grass gave way, and with a cry the child went over, the two little hands still holding right to the torn-off bunch of grass. And the girl who longed to be back in her gap thought she heard the little one cry, and she sprang up and wanted to go; at which they reproved her, reminding her that no one is necessary anywhere; they gap would be well taken care of, they knew. And then they sang a hymn.

Then through the hymn came another sound like the pain of a million broken hearts wrung out in one full drop, one sob. And a horror of great darkness was upon me, for I knew what it was; the cry of the blood.

Then thundered a voice, the voice of the Lord. And he said, “What hast though done? The voice of thy brother’s blood crieth unto Me from the ground.”

The tom-toms still beat heavily, and darkness still shuddered and shivered about me. I heard the yells of the devil-dancers and weird, wild shrieks of the devil-possessed just outside the gate.

What does it matter, after all? It has gone on for years; it will go on for years.
Why make such a fuss about it?

— God forgive us! God arouse us!
Shame us out of our callousness! Shame us out of our sin!

Amy Carmichael, Thy Brother’s Blood Crieth:
(India: The Dohnavur Fellowship).
Obtained from an article from Bethany Fellowship, Inc.
Minneapolis, MN.

Amy Carmichael (1967-1951) was born in Northern Ireland to a wealthy family. When she was eighteen, her father died, and as the eldest of seven children, Amy received much of the family responsibility.

Within twelve years, Miss Carmichael had 130 children in her care and had rescued many hundreds more. For fifty-five years, she sacrificially lived and ministered in India…without even a furlough. Many others were inspired to join with her, and together with these co-workers, she established an Indian mission work called “The Dohnaver Fellowship,”

Amy Carmichael is best remembered for her life work of saving precious Indian children (especially rescuing many young girls from Hindu temple prostitution). Even today, through her books and writings, the impact of her life and testimony continues to challenge many to a deeper walk with the Lord, and a deeper commitment to His service.

Taken from The Mission-Minded Child,
by Ann Dunagan

Great links for HOPE and JOY!

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God has a grace-empowered HOPE and JOY for us live in and to ABIDE IN, that is not based on our present circumstances. As believers in Jesus, we can STAY in His joy and hope, because God is so awesome and worthy to be worshiped, at all times.

This post shares some great links.

HOPE . . . even from prison:

Anybody can be happy when things are going great, but being truly joyful in the midst of tough times will keep everybody scratching their heads with wonder.

The Bible tells us in Philippians to “Rejoice in the Lord at all times, and again I say, rejoice!” (and He wrote that from prison!)

  • “Dare to Rejoice . . . in Philippians!” Bible Study Click here < < <
    The theme is “Rejoice in the Lord at all times, and again I say rejoice!” Philippians 4:4.

    • HOPE . . . even during hard times on the mission field:

    The world is watching us. How we handle challenging situations will often be the greatest mark of our Christian testimony. So much depends on our perspective. In our family, we’ve faced huge hardships on the mission field, financial needs way beyond our means (especially with all the orphan children), the passing away of fellow missionaries, and life-threatening diseases like malaria. But through it all, God has allowed us to STAY in His peace and hope.

    “His praise,” the Bible says, “shall continually be in my mouth!”

    HOPE . . . even during a house fire:

    One time, back in 1991, our home and nearly 100% of our belongings were destroyed by a big house fire (which was accidentally caused by our 5-year-old son, who had been playing with a lighter). We were thankful for God’s protection over our family, and chose to gather with dear friends to worship and sing. We didn’t know how the story would turn out. We didn’t know if our insurance would cover anything. So do you know what we did? We figured that if the enemy (the devil) was trying to steal, kill, and destroy our family. In prayer, we wondered what the enemy would “least” want us to do . . . and we decided to go on a mission trip as fast as we could to where the harvest of souls was most ripe.

    A pastor friend was about to lead a mission trip into the just-opened Soviet Union, and we made the decision to join that trip and to help. Even before we had permission to clean up the sooty mess . . . and even before we knew if our insurance would cover anything, we headed to St. Petersburg, Russia, and participating in serving at an amazing Gospel outreach. We helped distributed tens of thousands of Bibles, which had been previously confiscated by the Soviet government. The time was amazing. In a large stadium, as the Gospel message was presented to a people who had been prohibited from hearing it for many years, there was practically a stampede as people came forward in the altar calls. The spiritual hunger was incredible. The perspective gave us such a peace, knowing that God was in control, even concerning our home.

  • mp3 — “Dare to Rejoice . . . in Psalm 119” Click here < < < Bible Study #5 (Psalm 119:49-64) is all about GOD'S HOPE!!!

    • No matter what, we can choose to live in HOPE and JOY.

  • Even when you’re CONCERNED FOR YOUR CHILDREN’S FAITH — This is probably the hardest thing for moms. In this audio, Nancy Leigh DeMoss from Revive Our Hearts leads a panel how to pray and to stand in faith without fear (with a team of godly moms who all faced huge kid-challenges). Oh, so encouraging!!!

  • Even when your PRAYERS AREN’T ANSWERED — Just think about how discouraged Zachariah and Elizabeth must have felt. They had been faithful to God their entire lives, and faithfully praying for years, yet their dreams were now totally impossible. What do you do when what comes so normally for others, like having a baby or finding a spouse, won’t happen in your life without a divine miracle? This two-part series, The Divine Advent: by Beth Moore is SO encouraging. (This one is a little Christmas-oriented, but it’s applicable any time of the year.)

  • Even when a loved one is FACING A SEVERE ILLNESS . . . listen to the thoughts of my friend, Bo Stern, who’s husband is battling ALS.

  • Here’s a SWEET LOVE STORY about my sister-in-law who’s husband died on Christmas morning. Both of these women are so filled with God’s perspective and joy.

  • Even in the MIDST OF A STORM — If you feel like you’re about to go under, listen to my husband preaching about when Jesus said, “We’re going over to the other side!” (Jon actually preached this in the midst of one of our biggest challenges in 20 years of ministry.)

  • Even when you’re DISCOURAGED — You can learn 5 Exit Strategies from the Ditch of Discouragement . . . (again, from my dear friend, Bo). These are SO good!

  • And if you’re needing an extra boost of encouragement GET YOUR HOPES UP! (another audio, from my hubby and me!).

  • Or if you’re NEEDING ENCOURGEMENT IN PREGNANCY (or MORNING SICKNESS) . . . check out Angie Tolpin’s new book, Redeeming Childbirth.

  • Even when you’re FEELING DESPERATE as a mother, check Desperate, by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson. Or to be encouraged as a mom, watch Sally’s video:

    • Be Encouraged, Daring Daughters. God is with you.

    [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_NMe2wpWfg?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

    Daring Daughters, let’s remember that heaven is our home, not this world. Let’s keep God’s eternal perspective and remember to pray for God’s kingdom to COME in our lives here on earth. When the enemy comes in, let’s not just roll over and despair. Instead, let’s walk in faith and hope and joy!

    Be encouraged, and no matter what, remember to “stay” in that place of God’s peace, hope, grace . . . and JOY!

    Blessings to you!
    Ann

    How I Use a Bible-Reading Chart (audio)

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    Using a 1-year Bible Reading Chart doesn’t have to be legalistic. Just like stepping on a scale (or trying on your jeans) helps to “check-up” on your weight, using a Bible chart helps to hold yourself accountable to what you know God wants you to do. Let’s start afresh today. Just print out this chart and keep it with your Bible. Keep your heart focused on God by reading and obeying His Word!

    One Year Bible-Reading Chart – PDF Download

    Listen ONLINE (2:58 minutes)
    “How I use a one-year Bible-reading chart”

    [mp3_embed playlst=”http://www.daringdaughters.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/DD-bible-reading-chart.mp3″ colors=”#B2B11F” id=”4″ nums=”4″]
    Or CLICK HERE to DOWNLOAD the mp3 . . .

    Weep for the Persecuted

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    DD-persecuted-box“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and
    weep with those who weep.”     Romans 12:15

    Daring Daughters, we need to remember the persecuted church around the world. Our precious sisters and brothers in Jesus need our prayers and our concern. We need to be willing to care and even to cry.

    Pray for the Persecuted

    Ann Dunagan

    Ann Dunagan

    Here’s a focus on world persecution in the context of a story from my kitchen and my kids. –Ann

    “Hey, that’s not fair! You already got one-and-a-half more pieces than me!” Our daughter gave our son a selfish glare, as he proceeded to “stake his claim” by grabbing for the butter and syrup.

    As I was working on yet another batch of French toast, I realized our kids definitely needed more than food on their plates. Our family needed a fresh lesson in thankfulness and gratitude. The petty bickering was really bothering me, especially in light of several stories I had read only a few hours earlier.

    So, while the kids sat on their stools at our kitchen counter, waiting (not so patiently) for our next round of French toast, I proceeded to give a lesson: “You know, kids, we need to be thankful for what we have, and realize that we have been given so much! Instead of complaining, God wants us to continually live with an attitude of thankfulness and joy.”

    “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” –I Thessalonians 5:18

    Note: We don’t have to be thankful for everything (as some temptations and attacks are clearly from the enemy). However, in everything and every situation, we can be thankful and full of praise. God is still on the throne. He is God and He is still worthy of our worship (even at this moment). We can always find something to be thankful for, even for grace to withstand the challenge. When situations are tough, we can choose to WORSHIP, no matter what. And here’s a specific phrase I often think about when I am feeling distressed or discouraged (and tempted to worry or fear): “God is worthy of my brain-space!”

    LINK to The Voice of the Martrys website

    LINK to The Voice of the Martrys website

    Let’s Remember the Persecuted Church
    Just that morning, I had been reading a Voice of the Martyrs magazine, about how a minister named Richard Wurmbrand had endured persecution while being imprisoned for his faith. He had spent over 14 years in Romanian prisons, including long periods in complete solitude – with no Bible, no books, no scrap paper or pencils, and (obviously) no one to talk to. Even during this horrible time, this man still found ways to be grateful.

    The article shared how Rev. Wurmbrand meditated on Scripture he had memorized, and how he (along with other Christian prisoners) kept his mind active by praying fervently throughout the night for various needs from around the world. Yet the example that most-deeply touched my heart was reading about how this man of God learned to rejoice.

    For a moment, I put down my spatula and reached for the magazine lying on the counter. “Just listen to this guy’s attitude,” I told my kids. “This man found reasons to be grateful, even in prison, and even when there was absolutely nothing to be thankful for:

    “The Bible tells us about one of the great joys we can have,” Rev. Wurmbrand explains, “even in a prison cell: ‘Rejoice with those who rejoice’ (Romans 12:15). I rejoiced that there were families somewhere who gathered with their children, read the Bible together, told jokes, and were happy with each other. Somewhere there was a boy who loved a young girl and dated her; I could be happy about them. There they had a prayer meeting; and there was someone who studied; and there is somebody who enjoyed good food, etc. We could rejoice with those who rejoiced.”

    – Quote by Richard Wurmbrand, Founder of The Voice of the Martyrs – (Excerpted from The Triumphant Church, pp.32-33).

     

    [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylKdTYu8DnI?rel=0&w=500&h=300]

     
    Let’s Be Thankful (even when times are tough)
    We need to have hearts of gratitude, which means being thankful for even little things that we usually take for granted.

    I asked my kids, “When was the last time you were grateful for your toothbrush or toothpaste . . . or for your teeth? Or when was the last time you were thankful for hot running water, or a good toilet?”

    That morning, I was also inspired by three examples I had read in a little booklet about gratitude, and my kids heard about these as well:

    Back in the 19th Century, a well-known commentator named Matthew Henry was robbed. Yet even in the midst of a terrible circumstance, this man found ways to be grateful. Just listen to this attitude, as written in Henry’s journal:

    “Let me be thankful, first, because I was never robbed before; second, because although they took my purse, they did not take my life; third, because, although they took my all, it was not much; and fourth, because it was I who was robbed, not I who robbed!”

    David Brainerd, a devoted missionary to the Native American people, was characterized by a thankful spirit. Even when he had a high fever and great pain, he was thankful that this challenge had come when he was among friends; when he ill and alone in his little hut, he thanked God saying, “Blessed be the Lord, I am not exposed in the open air . . . ”; and in another instance, facing weeks of outdoor solitude, forging through swamps, and enduring dark nights, he thanked God that his loneliness “drove him to experience intimate fellowship with the Lord . . . ”

    And if you remember Disney’s classic film, Pollyanna, the story of a missionary orphan who goes to live with a difficult aunt. This sweet-natured girl brings joy to the entire town by looking on the bright side of things, an attitude she calls her “Glad Game,” even in the midst of challenges.

    (Examples adapted from The Attitude of Gratitude, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss).

    By the time the kids had a fresh plate of French toast, they also had a quick lesson in gratitude, and I was feeling better as a mom.

    Proverbs 22:6 tells us, “Train up a child in the way he should go”; and in Deuteronomy 6:7, “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”

    Later, our son came up to me and asked for forgiveness for his attitude; and I could tell he was truly sorry. And our daughter, who just moments ago listened to me read this article, asked me to please tell those of you reading this that she already said she was sorry, and that she’s thankful . . . but actually, her brother was the one who started it.

    Meet Sonya: Our Adoption Mentor

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    ADOPTION with Daring Daughters Mentor Sonya SchweighardtAt Daring Daughters, Sonya Schweighardt is our ADOPTION Mentor. As a mother of 15 children (including a dozen adopted children from the US child/foster care system, from Liberia and Ethiopia, and from several “disrupted” adoptions), Sonya (along with her husband, Russell) is passionate about orphans and adoption. She enjoys mentoring families throughout the adoption process, from pre-adoption consideration to post-adoption life.

    sonya-family

    As an adoption advocate, Sonya communicates with experience and compassion. She and her family live in North Carolina and her website is Responding in Faith.

    In our 12-WEEK Daring Daughters E-COURSE, Sonya Schwaighardt teaches our WEEK #7 LESSON — ORPHANS & ADOPTION.

    Follow Sonya on Facebook
    Follow Sonya on Twitter

    Follow Sonya’s posts on Daring Daughters < <

    In a Mentor — Look for Fruit!

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    KEY: Look at the fruit in a person’s life before you choose them to be your mentor.

    When looking for a mentor, I have personally always chosen mentors who were AT LEAST a season ahead of me. While I do believe you can learn from your friends and even those who are younger than you, scripturally the Lord has purposefully laid out his design for us to have productive teaching and mentoring from those who are older and wiser. However, just because they are older doesn’t make them qualified! Look at the fruit in their life. Everyone has fruit, good or bad. Be wise! Don’t take advice, counsel, mentoring, or coaching from someone who doesn’t have good fruit or if you can’t see the fruit in their life.

    Choosing a mentor as a wife: Again, you need to look at the fruit in their lives. For example, I am a wife. If I am looking for a mentor in marriage, I am going to choose a mentor who’s marriage I respect. If the woman doesn’t seem to respect her husband biblically, or if there seems to be anything obviously “off” or that I wouldn’t want to imitate, then they are a wrong choice. This method requires getting to know people. Really, truly knowing them. But seriously, if you are going to be going to them for counsel and advice, you kind of need to know it is going to be biblical and sound.

    Isaac & Angie Tolpin

    In marriage mentoring, don’t take advice from someone who has only been married a couple of years. Most divorces happen between 5-9 years of marriage. The longer a person has been married and not just married but really seems to enjoy their marriage, the better. A standard I personally hold on this level is finding a mentor who can encourage me to be the best helper I can to a husband who is an entrepreneur, since I am married to one. Another standard I have is that they both (husband/wife) seem to approach marriage from a team philosophy, they are thriving, not just surviving marriage. I want a great marriage, not a mediocre one.

    Choosing a mentor as a mother: As a mother, I look for women who have children a whole season ahead of me. I look at their children. If I think to myself, “Wow. I really like her children . . . I hope my kids turn out like that . . . ” then I believe she has “earned” the right to be heard. Just as the Bible says we need to be wise who we choose as friends, we also need to be wise who we choose as mentors. So do they have strong relationships with their kids? Are their kids following the Lord purposefully? I look for traits I desire in my own children, such as a servant heart towards all people, missions, God’s work on earth. Who are more concerned with God’s plan for their lives than what the next trend is.

    So if you are a young mom, find a mom who has gone through the young years successfully, not just survived through them, but thrived through them.

    The Tolpin Family – Fall, 2011

    While there are some cases where young women have wisdom beyond their years (usually because they themselves have been mentored by their mother or other older women), I have always chosen not to take advice from people who have not experienced it themselves successfully. For example, I would never take parenting advice from someone who only had one or two children who were still very young or someone who never has had children, regardless of education. You can not see the end product of their parenting philosophy. Besides all parenting techniques are easy to talk about, but doing it is another thing. While so many people hold firm to their “philosophies,” the justice/practical side of me wants to see the “proof in the pudding.”

    I believe it to be foolish to pursue someone as a mentor if they are going to give you unbiblical or unwise advice. In addition to choosing people to glean “wisdom” from, you need to seek God’s wisdom above all else. You need to have His standard for what “Good Fruit” is and looks like. If you go with our cultures standards, you may be receiving poor advice/counsel. If you have children almost hitting their teen years, find older women who’s children have gone through it successfully and joyfully. If you have children about to marry, find women who have already got grandchildren on the way and so on.

    I have personally benefited most, spiritually from the older generations (60’s and up), but I have found more practical advice and wisdom from women who are just a few years ahead (10-15yrs) of me in parenting, as they tend to remember more because they were just in it. However, there is still so much wisdom to be found in those older generations on parenting, a lot of what they grew up with was much more biblical than what is modeled regularly in today’s culture. Since there were no TV’s when they were kids, their parents engaged their children through work, which is something Isaac and I try to do as often as possible. My point is that, there is much to be gleaned from any generation. Don’t be closed-minded!

    Use wisdom in choosing mentors by looking at the fruit in their life. Is she a wife, mother, and woman of God I want to be like? Is she following Christ? Is she in the Word? Does she have a good understanding of what God’s idea of a biblical man/woman, husband/wife, and mother/father is to look like, so you can exercise wisdom? You can’t choose wisely if you have no wisdom and God is the one who bestows it.

    Blessings on the Journey,
    Angie

    Blessed are the Single Hearted (Part 1)

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    amy carmichael

    “Blessed are the single-hearted, for they shall enjoy much peace.”

    “If you refuse to be hurried and pressed, if you stay your soul on God, nothing can keep you from that clearness of spirit which is life and peace.”

    “In that stillness you will know what His will is.”

    — Amy Carmichael, Missionary to India (1867-1951)

    Wow. “Blessed are the single-hearted…”

    Isn’t that a beautiful focus?

    Oh, I want to be “single-hearted” for the Lord, with my entire soul (my mind, my will, and my emotions) staying steadfastly on God, and not going off on some “crazy-wild-goose-chase” of distraction from God’s peace and God’s best.

    Seeking God, more than anything

    I want to STAY single-hearted in that place of stillness with Him, where my spirit is clear and uncluttered, so I can know His perfect will . . . and I can know Him.

    I want to live and “stay” in that place of total peace with God.

    What is really the #1 most important focus of my heart?

    More than anything, I want to know God.

    –Not just know “about” God.
    –Not just know “how” to have an impressive devotional life.
    –Not just know “how” to live as a godly or visionary woman.
    –Not just know “how” to make a difference “for Him” in this world.

    More than anything, I want to know God, personally and intimately.

    Being single-hearted means caring more about my relationship “with God”
    than anything I might do “for God.”

    –More than my relationship with my husband.
    –More than that priority time with my kids.
    –More than my special girl-time with my dearest friends.
    –More than special family-time with our extended relations.
    –Even more than I care about doing stuff for His kingdom.
    –Even more than seeking His direction, or His provision, or His grace.
    –And even more than seeking His help to finish my “to-do” list.

    I want to care about my relationship with Him more than anything.

    Oh, may I be single-hearted.